| Rescue
of the Super Friends |
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transcribed by Louis Badalament II (lb140900@ohio.edu)
Trouble is afoot for the forces of good! In the swampy marshes in the place where the LEGION OF DOOM has their headquarters, a mud-encrusted, futuristic-looking dome. Inside, AQUAMAN and WONDER WOMAN, two of the legendary SUPER FRIENDS, have been tied together back-to-back and are being lowered down slowly into an open pit of bubbling green ooze.
AQUMAN desperately tries to save himself and WONDER WOMAN with the thick white ovals that are rippling out from his noble nose. He directs this ripple power of his up, then down, then up again: all to no avail. Defeated, he turns to WONDER WOMAN as much as his restraints will allow him to, and tells
her:
AQUAMAN: My ability to talk with fish is of no help, Wonder Woman!
WONDER WOMAN wearily rolling her eyes, possibly out of incredulity that AQUAMAN would have even
thought that using that particular power in a such a completely fish-free place as this would have had any sort of helpful effect.
From down below, the LEGIONNAIRES are seated at their long, arc-shaped table and watching the SUPER FRIENDS' descent with murderous satisfaction. Their leader, the bald LEX LUTHOR, takes this moment to taunt them.
LUTHOR: Nothing can save you now, Super FOOLS! Wah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
His bout of evil laughter is interrupted by the POWERPUFF GIRLS, who all burst straight through his domed ceiling, arriving none-too-soon to rescue their superpowered colleagues from mortal peril.
LUTHOR: (Totally shocked) WHAT?! THE POWDERPUFF GIRLS?!
The GIRLS are not too flattered with LUTHOR'S mispronunciation.
BUTTERCUP: (disgusted) Ugh! Why do people ALWAYS get that WRONG??
BLOSSOM: It's POWER-PUFF!
BUBBLES: No 'D'!
LUTHOR: (Smugly) How informative! Well, there is a 'D' in 'destroy', as in...DESTORY THEM!!!
This doesn't get quite the reaction LUTHOR was hoping for...his underlings just stay in their seats. They didn't catch the fact that while LUTHOR was pointing out both existence of a 'D' in 'Destroy' and the presence of a 'Destroy' within 'Destroy them', he was simultaneous giving them an order to attack. The next time he speaks, he is far less subtle.
LUTHOR: DESTROY THEM!
The LEGIONARIES hurtle forward noisily as a single, tightly packed unit.
LEGIONARES: (Laughing and eager) Let's get them! Huh-huh! Huh-huh!
The POWERPUFFS are less vocal. They charge the LEGION and knock out each member individually.
BLOSSOM socks the blue-skinned, shade-wearing Eskimo wannabe in the face...
CAPTAIN COLD: Oooh!
BUBBLES whips back the head of the mustached man with the big head and sizable widow's peak with a jaw blow.
SINESTRO: Ooof!
BUTTERCUP drives a kick into the back of the scantily-clad cavewoman in the furry yellow underwear with red polka dots.
GIGANTA: Ungh!
BLOSSOM smashes another punch into the face of the guy in the black-colored jester outfit.
TOYMAN: Urgk!
BUBBLES causes the oversized, dirty-looking gray-skinned brute to loose a tooth with one well-placed kick.
SOLOMON GRUNDY: Uh!
BUTTERCUP brings pain to the jaw of the woman in the full-body cat costume.
CHEETAH: Uuuuh!
BLOSSOM does likewise to the loser in the insect outfit.
BLACK MANTA: Oof!
Unlike the others thus far, the next evildoer, a guy in straw scarecrow apparel, doesn't get pummeled with body blows. Instead, BUTTERCUP and BUBBLES hover down and zap the villain with their laser vision.
SCARECROW: YAAAAAH!!!
The laserblast ignites a fire, causing the straw man runs around in a panicked circle with the seat of his pants aflame.
SCARECROW: (High-pitched) WOOOO-HOOOOO! AAAH-HAAA-HAA-HAA!
None of this, however, can match the punishment that is given to LEX LUTHOR.
LUTHOR: (Pained) OOH! AAH!
BUBBLES: (Battle-cries) Kee-yah! Hi-YAH!
LUTHOR: EEE! AAAH!
BUBBLES: Waaa-ooh!
It's so vicious and brutal that the tied-up SUPER FRIENDS can't bear to watch it at all, and they avert their eyes. Finally, it is all LUTHOR can do to sway around drunkenly...
LUTHOR: (Woozily) Uuuhhhhh....
And collapse, next to the rest of the defeated LEGION OF DOOM.
Some time later, AQUAMAN and WONDER WOMAN are taken down and untied.
AQUAMAN: (Grateful) Thanks, Powerpuff Girls!
BLOSSOM: No prob! We're big fans of old-school!
AQUAMAN frowns slightly, looking a bit uncomfortable with being thought of as 'old school.'
WONDER WOMAN: (Impressed) You Girls are developing into quite the superheroes!
BUBBLES: Someday, we'll be as developed as YOU!
Now both the SUPER FRIENDS look uncomfortable, even startled...although why BUBBLES' comment should prompt that sort of reaction out of the busty, buxom beautiful WONDER WOMAN is not made clear. LEX LUTHOR, however seems to find humor in the situation, first he snorts, and then he snickers at them.
LUTHOR: Hee-hee-hee-haa-haa!
Then all the LEGION OF DOOM join in.
LEGION OF DOOM: Huh-huh-ha-ha-huh-ha-ha-huh-huh-ha-huh-huh-huh!
WONDER WOMAN passes a look to AQUAMAN, a dry, tongue-in-cheek kind of smile, before crossing her arms over her chest. The LEGION OF DOOM continue to laugh, and the POWERPUFF GIRLS just stare at them brightly as they have been doing since rescuing them.
LEGION OF DOOM: Huh-huh-ha-ha-huh-ha-ha-huh-huh-ha-huh-huh-huh!
Then a piece of the ceiling falls down on LEX LUTHOR'S head...
LUTHOR: OW!
...Prompting jolly laughing from the good guys.
SUPERHEROES: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Then the checkerboard Cartoon Network logo makes its display.
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