Monkey See, Doggie Two

transcribed by Louis Badalament II (lb140900@ohio.edu)

It is nighttime in Townsville. The NARRATOR begins in his conventionally boisterous tone; but stops himself almost immediately. Such loudness at this hour is highly inconsiderate to Townsville citizens. After apologizing, he narrates in a far softer volume.

NARRATOR: THE CITY OF TOWNS... Oops! Sorry! The City of Townsville. A city that sleeps. A tired town with an early, early bedtime. No need for late nights here. Gotta get that beauty sleep.

One by one, the lights among Townsville's business district are shut off. Only one lone cop stand out on the sidewalk, asleep on his feet.

NARRATOR: (Yawns) So peaceful, the empty streets. 
SNOOZING COP: ...snore...birds in the air...

The residential side of Townsville, such as that occupied by the Utonium Household, has a similar story to tell.

NARRATOR: Even in suburbs, Townsville citizens are tucked away in their beds.

Citizens such as the PROFESSOR, who slumbers in a very uncharacteristic fashion tonight. Instead of pajamas, he's still in his lab coat. And though his body is underneath bed covers, his head doesn't rest against the pillow, but is propped up against the back of the bed. It is as if he woke up, raised his head a little bit forward, then went right back to sleep in that position. A calculator, an open book and several papers lay on the bedspread, and a microscope sits on a dresser in arm's reach. Furthermore, the light is turned on and he holds his pipe up near his mouth while he sleeps.

NARRATOR: Still haven't found that unified theory, eh, Professor?
NARRATOR: Ah. Here's our girls. Far away in a dreamy slumber.

Both BLOSSOM and BUBBLES sleep in a more conventional manner than that which their PROFESSOR adopts tonight; with lights off, pajamas on, and heads against pillow. BUTTERCUP, though, lashes out with her fists, evidently playing out some very vivid dream.

NARRATOR: Go get 'em, Buttercup.
NARRATOR: Yes, everyone's resting up for a bright, new day - But wait. What's this? Someone in Townsville is not asleep!

At the museum, someone has used suction cups to ascend to one of the roof windows, and then cut their way in with a glass-cutter, leaving these tools behind. Someone is sneaking through the rooms filled with portraits and statues. This someone arrives at a room with a cracked obsidian dog-head, modeled after the jackal-headed Egyptian god of the Dead, Anubis.

Someone snaps a photograph of the Anubis Dog Head standing safely atop its pedestal, and hangs it over the single security camera monitoring the artifact. This action is hardly necessary; like almost all of Townsville, the guard manning the camera monitors is fast asleep. This someone begins to step towards the artifact and softly articulates words in sheer excitement.

MOJO JOJO: Ah! Oooh, yes.

The voice is that of a gruff, older male with a strong, Japanese accent. The words he speaks are enunciated quite coherently, and on the whole he sounds like a well-educated individual.

The fellow fastens a pair of clamps onto a metal wire surrounding the Dog Head's pedestal, so when he snaps the section of wire held between the clamps with some heavy-duty scissors, he can come into the circle the wire protects without tripping any alarms. The Dog's Head is now within arm's reach. With an aerosol container, the fellow sprays a murky mist around the Anubis Dog Head, revealing the lasers protecting it, as well as the gap through which he can stick his finger and poke the Dog Head off its pedestal, into his waiting hand.

Successful thus far, the fellow then makes his way down a museum hallway, clutching his prize and quietly chuckling to himself.

MOJO JOJO: Oh!

The fellow snaps his fingers, realizing he'd almost forgotten something, and moves up to a glass display case. Resting against a plush pillow inside the glass are a big pair of sparkling gems, red as rubies, and cut in the 'traditional' style of a diamond. 'The Anubial Jewels' informs a helpful folded sign on the glass.

There are far less intricacies in the thief's caper of the Anubial Jewels than their were of the Anubis Dog Head. He simply smashes the glass with the hard base of the Anubis Dog Head, and lifts the Jewels off their pillow.

The thievery makes Townsville's front-page headlines the next day.

NARRATOR: Townsville Museum, robbed?!

As the crime is deemed worthy enough to warrant their participation, the POWERPUFF GIRLS gather around the pedestal of the Anubis and set off with their investigation. BLOSSOM begins by waving her arm around the space the Dog Head once occupied, establishing that the relic did not suddenly turn invisible while security was sleeping, but is, indeed, stolen.

BLOSSOM: Hmm. Well, it is missing. Did you search for any clues, Curator?

Close by is the Museum's CURATOR, a prim, starchy kind of man, as well as some policeman.

CURATOR: Well, I didn't want these brutish police trouncing 'round my beautiful museum!
BLOSSOM: That's silly! Okay, Girls! Spread and search!

All of the POWERPUFFS assume a racing position at the opening of three individual hallways, and then zip down with such tremendous speed and power that they rip the museum floor open in long, deep gashes, almost send the portraits toppling from their walls. Once finished, they reconvene back around the Dog Head's pedestal.

BUBBLES: (Flying though one wall) Nope! 
BUTTERCUP: (Flying through another wall) Nope! 
BLOSSOM: (Creating a hole) No clues! 
CURATOR: Oh!

Overcome with distress at the sight of the damage, the CURATOR faints dead away into the arms of a policeman. This policeman brings the POWERPUFF'S attention to another noteworthy feature about the mystery. It seems to take him some real effort to do so.

DENSE POLICEMAN: Well...uh...d'uh...there was something else stolen...d'uh...would that qualify as a...clue? 
POWERPUFFS: The Anubial Jewels?

The POWERPUFFS stare at the empty display they somehow overlooked in their super-speed investigation...and get the first tingly twinge of déjà vu.

BUTTERCUP: (suspicious) Hey...you don't think...?
BLOSSOM: (disbelieving) No way! C'mon!

And they zip out of the museum.

Buildings blur past the POWERPUFFS as they fly in hot pursuit to the answers of this mystery. BLOSSOM takes a moment to comment offhanded to her sisters...

BLOSSOM: Gee, I sure wish we could find a trail!
POWERPUFFS: Huh?

The POWERPUFFS stop, distracted by loud barking.

They drop down below to investigate. This time, instead of one single dog, they see a whole pack of canines are barking all over the vicinity, all different breeds, some on cars, no leash on any of them, not a human being in sight.

Matters start looking far more suspicious when they take note of one barking dog with a yellow construction helmet on his head, and his body encased in an ill-fitting set of blue overalls, as well as a quartet of frightened dogs, a mother and three pups, inside a red car that has crashed into the wall of a building. The mother is barking in the car's driver's seat, while three pups bark out of the busted rear window from the passenger's seats.

The POWERPUFFS absorb all this with stunned, wide-eyed astonishment, as their memories summon up an earlier, much similar experience they had undergone back in their past. This incident had also involved the late-night stealing of the Anubis Dog Head and the Anubial Jewels, as well as the sudden, chaotic rabble of dogs where there had once been human beings. The culprit behind that caper had been none other than...

BUTTERCUP: (To her sisters) He couldn't be THAT stupid, could he?!
MOJO JOJO: YES!! 

...MOJO JOJO, who, once again is lifting shovelfuls of jewels into the fuel tank of the same fire-hydrant shaped machine he had once used before to magically morph all of Earth's human beings into dogs. As before, the Anubis Dog Head is situated in the machine's domed top, with the smaller end of the Observatory telescope hanging just above the glass of the dome.

MOJO JOJO shuts the fuel tank, turns the Dog Head Machine's power level up, and pulls the 'On' switch on while still talking.

MOJO JOJO: With these jewels, the magic curse of the ancient Anubis Dog Head the human race will finally be unleashed, and then the human race will bow down to ME! MOJO JOJO!!!

He hits THE BUTTON! Anubial Power shoots forth from the outer lens of the telescope...

POWERPUFFS: WHOA!!

Which is spotted by the POWERPUFFS.

BLOSSOM: C'mon!

They zip off in their rainbow streak, Observatory-bound. Meanwhile, the blast of Anuibal power spreads over every corner of the Earth. Two lovebird café patrons in Paris blithely kissing each other turn into dogs licking each others' tongues. In some patch of Artic tundra, an ice-fishing man holding a fishing pole turns into an ice-fishing dog holding a pole. Some elder gentleman in Japan bends his head down to eat a piece of sashimi, but the chopsticks fall when his hands turn into paws. All this happens before the POWERPUFFS at last crash through the Observatory, and face MOJO JOJO furiously.

BLOSSOM: Not so fast!...
BUTTERCUP: Mojo!...
BUBBLES: Jojo!

MOJO JOJO stares back at his ever-sworn enemies from where he stands at the controls of the Dog Head Machine in total startlement.

BLOSSOM: We know what you're up to! 

BUTTERCUP points over to the activated Dog Head Machine, where the cracked Anubis Dog Head still glows with doggy power.

BUTTERCUP: (Irritably) You've tried this stupid plan before...!
BUBBLES: ...And we stopped you the last time!

This fact does not MOJO JOJO in the slightest. Rather, he seems pleased, in his own sinister way, that the POWERPUFFS have pointed this out.

MOJO JOJO: (Pointing at them) AHA! This I know!

He lifts the palm of his index-finger-extended hand up in an interruptive gesture.

MOJO JOJO: BUT! There is one small difference! 

There is a wide-screen television standing close by to the four of them which MOJO JOJO might well have set up for just such an arrival on the POWERPUFFS' part. He now slides over to its power button, and when he turns it on, staticy snow appears on the television's screen.

MOJO JOJO: (Fast and excited) I have studied the footage of my caper VERY CAREFULLY!...

Here, MOJO JOJO indicates just how carefully by slowly brings his hands together in a manner than somewhat resembles two inchworms approaching other from opposite ends on a flat-surface, and finally crashing into each other head-on. Then he holds up a black VHS videotape for the POWEPUFFS.

MOJO JOJO: ...and have discovered a FATAL FLAW in my plan...! 

He pops the videotape into the insertion slot of a very old, outdated model of VCR, and hits its 'PLAY' button.

MOJO JOJO: ...Which you will now see!!!!

The VCR takes a moment to activate properly. In that hiatus, the POWERPUFF GIRLS glance at each other in both doubt and uncertainty. As their fearless leader, it takes but a simple shrug from BLOSSOM to tell her sisters that sure, they might as well watch whatever MOJO JOJO has to show them before the three of them exact proper punishment on him for this repeated offense of him.

Then the footage from the videotape springs to life on the television screen, and MOJO JOJO whips a long wand, the type teachers sometime use in their classrooms, onto its surface.

MOJO JOJO: (Still excited) NOW! If you will recall...

On screen, the MOJO JOJO of times gone by is engaged in a long and spirited laugh at the prospect of such power as he hopes to achieve, holding up and admiring the then-unbroken supernatural artifact that was and is the Anubis Dog Head.

MOJO JOJO: ...Using the magical power of the Anubis Head... 

The scene on the screen switches over to when MOJO JOJO was making a supernatural assault on the people of Townsville, hitting some random panickers running about the downtown area in a mindless panic with his magical blasts of white energy.

MOJO JOJO: ...I was turning the people of Townsville into dogs.

One of the blasts even hits the SNOOZING COP from the other night, who for some reason, had been snoozing just as contently in that instance as he is in this. He continues to snooze as his body shrinks and grows fur.

MOJO JOJO: See? Just like that. Watch this one...

The footage shows a truck driver being transformed and crashing into a headlight because he can't grip the wheel.

MOJO JOJO: BOOM! HAHAHA! 

Next on the video is a shot of a crowd of moviegoers stampeding out of a theater, screaming. One single, focused blast changes their tune.

MOJO JOJO: (To the moviegoers) RUN, LITTLE PEOPLE, RUN!!! HEH-HEH-HEH! 

MOJO JOJO seems quiet pleased watching himself at his old exploits, he's wearing a bright smile and his nose is almost touching the screen. Right now, the television shows him at the point where he stopped blasting curses on everyone, tucked the Anubis Dog Head under his arm, and brought up a megaphone to his lips. A little to the side, the POWERPUFFS watch it all with patience, but nowhere near the same amount of joy and enthusiasm as their host.

MOJO JOJO: Eh...ahem...and then as you will see...

Now the on-screen dogs are 'heeling' as MOJO JOJO had commanded them, though moments before they were a senseless, howling, frightened pack, every single one of them shut up immediately, and sit back on their haunches, silent and attentive to MOJO JOJO'S amplified words.

MOJO JOJO: (Delighted) I commanded the people...eh...the dogs of Townsville to obey my every command! Which they did! Now look at that! Obeying! 

The fact that he might be loosing the attention of his audience seems to strike MOJO JOJO, for the tone of his voice changes from that of a fisherman recollecting his favorite fish story to a teacher giving a lecture.

MOJO JOJO: Now, pay attention!

When he continues, the video is at the point where the eyes of Anubis had shone forth once more, and the barking, mind-controlled DOGS had run off to commit acts of thievery for MOJO JOJO.

MOJO JOJO: I then commanded the dogs of Townsville to STEAL! Which they DID! Very well, I might add! This plan ROCKED!!!

They are at the point where a gang of the dogs released bags from their mouths, letting the contents spill out before MOJO JOJO, so that every one of the jewels inside could reflect his grinning, monkey face perfectly. MOJO JOJO is more pumped up that ever, raising both his fists into the air. He completely overlooks how obviously bored the POWERPUFFS are with all this, hovering unenthusiastically in front of the television.

MOJO JOJO: Check it out! This plan was SO BIG, it was affecting the WHOLE WORLD! 

There is a shot of Anubial Power shooting forth from the outer lens of his telescope...

MOJO JOJO: PARIS! 

...followed by a shot of the two lovebird café patrons in Paris blithely kissing each other and then turning into dogs licking each others' tongues.

MOJO JOJO: ESKIMO LAND! 

...then by one of an ice-fishing man holding a fishing pole turning into an ice-fishing dog in some patch of Artic tundra...

MOJO JOJO: JAPAN! 

At last, ending with some elder gentleman in Japan bending his head down to eat a piece of sashimi, and the chopsticks falling when his hands turn into paws.

BLOSSOM: (Interrupting) Hey! Who filmed this, anyway? What, do you have cameras all over the WORLD?!
MOJO JOJO: (Resentfully) YES! Now, shut up!

Now, the POWERPUFFS can see themselves crashing through the Observatory...

MOJO JOJO: So, BOOM! 

...MOJO JOJO halfheartedly reiterates the words they had spoken to him...

MOJO JOJO: (Unenthusiastically) 'Not so fast'....'Mojo Jojo'... 

...And then starts sounding interested again the moment in the film where the magical curse that had been affecting the whole rest of the world, catches up with the POWERPUFF GIRLS; shifting their shape in the blink of an eye, and turning them into POWERPUPS.

MOJO JOJO: NOW! Here is where I had made my first mistake! 

The POWERPUPS drop to the ground, at MOJO JOJO'S feet. He stares down at them with a contemptuous smile.

MOJO JOJO: I SHOULDN'T HAVE TURNED YOU INTO DOGS!

And the POWERPUPS rise up on their new set of four legs, and began barking at MOJO JOJO. When he sees this, he affects a burlesqued look of fear. When he simply cannot hold in the laughter any longer, he chuckles.

MOJO JOJO: ...But how was I to know? I thought you were harmless! 

As if to help illustrate his future self's point, the televised MOJO JOJO kicks the POWERPUPS to the floor.

MOJO JOJO: Look! I kick you! I didn't care! ...Okay, now, here I said some cool stuff...

About how he had a 'lot of work to do, controlling the world'...

MOJO JOJO: Aaand...then I walk over there... 

He swirls around with a dramatic swish of his long cape...

MOJO JOJO: And you guys bark or something...

After the doggy BLOSSOM had looked up, spotted something, and in the tongue of the new species she and her sisters had assumed, filled BUBBLES and BUTTERCUP in on what they were going to do.

MOJO JOJO: ...NOW, here's where you make me mad! 

At the point where BLOSSOM indicates with her paw the Anubis Dog Head glowing all over at its place on top MOJO JOJO'S machine.

MOJO JOJO: There's the Anubis Head, then...WHAM!

The trio of dogs ram themselves headlong into the dense metal edifice of MOJO JOJO'S Machine and send it see-sawing back and forth against its foundation. MOJO JOJO now starts voicing the very thoughts he was thinking in his head at the time when all this was taking place.

MOJO JOJO: HEY! What going on?! Oh no! It's all shaky! Hey, stop it! You stupid mutts! 

Then, of course...

MOJO JOJO: ...Ah! But I CATCH IT!

Right now, the MOJO JOJO playing off the old VCR is going on about how lucky he as he'd saved the Anubis Head, how if it had broken, the curse would've been broken.

MOJO JOJO: At that point, I was pretty confident that I'd beat you! I'D FELT!...

But MOJO JOJO stops mid-sentence before he can tell them what he felt. He's seeing himself on the video shrinking away, the Anubis Dog Head gripped protectively in his arms, as the POWERPUPS advance on him slowly, teeth bared.

MOJO JOJO: (Moodily) Wait. I remember...this...this part is stupid. We don't have to watch it.
BLOSSOM: No, wait! This is when you sicced your dumb Dobermans on us! 
BUTTERCUP: And we kicked their butts!
BUBBLES: Yeah! 

But MOJO JOJO is already turning the knob on his remote control to 'FAST-FORWARD'.

MOJO JOJO: No, no, it's stupid. 
POWERPUFFS: (Objecting) HEY!!!

And so, the whole fight scene between the POWERPUPS and the DOBERMANS, the one where the three of them really got to demonstrate their prowess as warriors, even when changed into canines passes by in a chipmunk-squeaking, super-speed blur. MOJO JOJO still provides his commentary, as if his saying it to be dumb will make it so, no matter what the POWERPUFFS may think.

MOJO JOJO: You see? Stupid. Stupid...ooh, that's good...

He is, of course, referring to the point when BUBBLES the POWERPUP found her head locked within her opponent DOBERMAN'S waiting maw, and said DOBERMAN waggling BUBBLES in the air like a chew toy. It is the only bright spot he find in, what is to him, a pointless, dismal scene.

MOJO JOJO: Stupid, stupid, stupid...stupid...

Finally, after having rushed the tape through that dismal failure of his past, MOJO JOJO sets the tape back on its normal speed.

MOJO JOJO: OKAY! HERE IS WHERE YOU MINI MUTTS REALLY MADE ME MAD!

It is the point where...

MOJO JOJO: You moved in slowly with an attempt to corner me!...

And he jumped up backwards onto a high platform.

MOJO JOJO: (Contemptuously) ...But I went HIGHER than you, which put me out of your reach! Now, if you watch closely...this part I do not like...

The part where BUTTERCUP suddenly notices, while her sisters bark away madly, that there is a walkway winding around the other side, in other words.

MOJO JOJO: Observe. 

They do, as they have been doing. BUTTERCUP the POWERPUP follows the walkway around to the small set of stairs leading onto MOJO JOJO'S platform. She leaps up the stairs and...

MOJO JOJO: YOU BITE ME!!! And THEN, I DROP THE ANUBIS HEAD CAUSING IT TO BREAK!!! ...Which then caused the spell to break... 

...Undoing all his sorcery, and ultimately turning MOJO JOJO into a pooch, himself. It is here, where MOJO JOJO has been dogified, that he finally stops playing the tape. Unfortunately...

MOJO JOJO: (Rewinding the tape) SO NOW, YOU SEE THE FATAL FLAW IN MY PLAN! 

He plays back that one part where BUTTERCUP sinks her pearly whites into his monkey flesh.

MOJO JOJO: The dogs, the biting, the dropping!

Dropping right atop MOJO JOJO'S own strange turban to shatter completely, it might be added.

MOJO JOJO: (Re-rewinding) Once More: The Dogs, The Biting, The Dropping!
MOJO JOJO: (Re-re-rewinding) Again: The DOGS...
BLOSSOM: (Fed up) OKAY! WE GET IT!

If anything, BUTTERCUP and BUBBLES look rather amused at their leader's impatient outburst. MOJO JOJO, however, wheels around with a look of triumph in his eyes.

MOJO JOJO: YES! And now, you will get THIS! And previously stated, I have studied this footage VERY CAREFULLY!!...And I have taken SPECIAL PRECAUTIONS!!!

Now all of the POWERPUFFS look fed up.

MOJO JOJO: FIRST! I will not, that means WILL NOT turn you into dogs, and if you are not dogs, you will not be able to bite me, and therefore, I Will Not Drop The Anubis Head! But there is MORE!...

...Although at this point, MOJO JOJO has lost any hope, any prayer, of the POWERPUFFS being interested in what that is...

MOJO JOJO: In the unlikely event of any future butt-biting, I have THOROUGHLY PREPARED MYSELF!!!...

He shows them just how by spinning around and yanking his pants down, exposing...

POWERPUFFS: (Shielding eyes) GROSS! EW! GROSS!

...The weirdest form of underwear the POWERPUFFS have ever seen on a chimpanzee.

MOJO JOJO: (Tapping it) ...With the construction of a SPECIAL PROTECTIVE STEEL PLATE with which to PROTECT MY HEINEY!! Therefore, you see...

MOJO JOJO: (Pointing to TV) No dogs... 
MOJO JOJO: (Pointing to steel plate) ...no biting...
MOJO JOJO: (Holding up Anubis Head) ...no dropping! 
MOJO JOJO: Once Again! 
BUTTERCUP: (Tired) Oh, BROTHER.
MOJO JOJO: (Pointing to TV) No dogs... 
MOJO JOJO: (Pointing to steel plate) ...no biting...
MOJO JOJO: (Holding up Anubis Head) ...no dropping! 

With that all in mind, MOJO JOJO holds the Anubis Head he has pulled from out of the glass-domed top of his machine sometime during his long, long exposition, and tells the POWERPUFFS...

MOJO JOJO: And with the help of this special precautions, The Anubis Head Will Not Be Broken, and I WILL RULE THE WORLD!!!

He erupts into an excited, maniacal laughter, holding the Anubis Head out.

MOJO JOJO: AHHAHAHAHAHAHA-EHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Now, with his Special Precautions explained, the Anubis Head tight in his grip, and his pants around his ankles, he looks up to where the POWERPUFFS float, and asks, 

MOJO JOJO: (Contemptuously) So, Powerpuffs, now that you've seen these Special Precautions, what do you plan to do?!?

The mean little grins BUTTERCUP and BUBBLES are wearing tell volumes. BLOSSOM only shrugs his shoulders, and tells MOJO JOJO, with an embarrassed smile,

BLOSSOM: We're gonna kick your butt.
MOJO JOJO: (Caught off-guard) WHA...???

The thing MOJO JOJO failed to take into account is his Special Precautions is that, although as POWERPUPS, the GIRLS were more prone to execute such butt-biting attacks as the one that had undone MOJO JOJO so long ago, they were also removed over many of the superpowers they can now perform on MOJO JOJO as human girls. 

As a POWERPUP, BLOSSOM, for instance, would never have been able smack him along the side of the face, making MOJO JOJO release his grip on the Anubis Dog Head and sending it up into the air. BUTTERCUP could never have kicked him on the opposite side of his face, nor could BUBBLES uppercut him flush on the jaw.

The protective steel plate MOJO JOJO created, although protecting his hindquarters well enough, leaves him wide open for more frontal assaults from BLOSSOM on his face, from low blows in the torso supplied by BUBBLES, and from kicks to the teeth courtesy of BUTTERCUP.

As MOJO JOJO'S skull is snapped from side to side with each blow the POWERPUFFS drive into him, the Anubis Head shatters on the floor.

Instantly, the effects of the mighty Egyptian curse are lifted; the licking café-goers in Paris resume kissing, the ice-fisher in the Artic continues fishes sans fur, and the elder gentleman lunching in Japan, who has climbed up on the table to get at his sashimi, suddenly finds himself licking away at his food naked and human. The ever-SNOOZING
COP, snoozes away as a restored human.

MOJO JOJO, in the meantime, finds he has been turned into a dog. One look at himself and...

MOJO JOJO: Woof-woof, woof-woof-woof! 

...he barks in such a manner that, had tear ducts been built into canine species, he'd be crying a river. MOJO JOJO continues crying all the way to the City Pound, where his KENNELMATE, a large, white male bulldog breed, stares down at him...and likes what he sees.

APPRECIATIVE KENNELMATE: Woof!

The Flashing Heart Logo Flashes Its Hearts

NARRATOR: I've said it before and I'll say it again: So, Once Again, The Day Is Saved, Thanks To The Powerpuff Girls! The DAY! The SAVING! The GIRLS! The DAY! The SAVING! The GIRLS!

T H E  E N D