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Milk, Buttercup? |
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transcribed by Louis Badalament II (lb140900@ohio.edu)
We start off in the classroom MS. KEANE teaches in, the kindergartens are all coloring away happily at their desks.
NARRATOR: Awwww...snack time at Pokey Oaks Kindergarten!
The moment the NARRATOR declares it to be snack time, the children's faces brighten up, and they rush to the front of the classroom, respectfully forming into a single line so that their teacher, MS. KEANE, can one by one hand them a bottle of vitamin-rich chocolate milk from the huge neatly-stacked pile atop her desk.
At the back of the line, BUTTERCUP is as wistfully anticipating as any of the other students are.
BUTTERCUP: (excitedly) I can't wait to get some smooth 'n' creamy chocolate milk!
Slowly, the line continues forward, MS. KEANE cheerfully forking over each bottle. One young boy who's received his osteoporosis-preventing treat is heading back to his desk to start chugging, blissfully unaware of the stylish, streetwalker's boot that has suddenly shot out of nowhere for him to him to trip on.
And trip he does, he falls face-forward to the ground, his milk bottle flying into the air, to be caught by ACE, leader of the GANGRENE GANG. ACE points down to the tripped little boy from where he sits in that kid's chair and says,
ACE: Hey, Snake! This is better 'n cow-tipping!
SNAKE, in the meanwhile, is a bit preoccupied to answer his leader, at the moment he's 'accidentally' kicking a plastic chair over at...
SNAKE: (Sarcastically) Oooopssssss!
...A trio of a milk-drinking students, whose bodies are buffeted by the kicked furniture, their milks sailing into the air, only to be gathered up into the arms of a high-jumping LIL' ARTURO.
SNAKE: (Teasingly) Don't cry over your sssspilled milk!
Another youngster, about to imbibe the chocolaty treat, is yanked off his feet so that he hangs upside-down over GRUBBER'S gaping maw, and the child's milk spills all over the GANGRENE'S sizable tongue.
Meanwhile, MS. KEANE is now about to give BUTTERCUP her bottle of milk, she reaches for it, when suddenly, LIL' ARTURO steps in front of BUTTERCUP and snatches it from MS. KEANE. LIL' ARTURO hurls BUTTERCUP'S milk at a selection of drawings tacked to the wall. The pictures are knocked to the floor, and BUTTERCUP watches the milk bounce off the wall to be caught by BIG BILLY, who, instead of unscrewing the top, squeezes the milk around its colorful label, forcing the drink, by means of his considerable strength, to burst off of its container and fountain onto BUTTERCUP'S head.
BIG BILLY: Duhhh...milk is good for bones!
BUTTERCUP stares back at BIG BILLY angrily, her hair and arms sopping with the scrumptious beverage that should have been hers.
BUTTERCUP: (angrily) You'll need it!
BUTTERCUP makes short work of the GANGRENE GANG. She kicks BIG BILLY in the stomach, then throws him over her head to land his face in a box of crayons, then slides a very dusty blackboard eraser over GRUBBER'S head, coating his face and tongue with chalk dust, grabs SNAKE by his nose, flies over, and jams the pointy end of it into the hollow of a pencil sharpener, grabs LIL' ARTURO by the scruff of his collar, and throws him into the coat rack...
LIL' ARTURO: Ooof!
...For him to hang like any one of the coats his body has knocked off. Last, she grabs ACE, rolls him into a bowling ball, and scores a strike....
ACE: Yeee-ooo-ooo-oooh!
Straight into the pile of chocolate milk bottles stacked on her teacher's desk.
The battle now beaten, BUTTERCUP celebrates by finally grabbing one of the tasty delights, and chugging down deeply.
BUTTERCUP: Ah!
BUTTERCUP'S now wearing a brown milk-mustache on her face, but she doesn't seem to notice. She crushes the empty plastic bottle like a soda can, as the still-balled-up ACE rolls over next to the rest of his GANG members, and asks the question written on the chalkboard their bodies are all piled up haphazardly next to.
ACE: Got Milk?
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