Mommy Fearest

transcribed by Louis Badalament II (lb140900@ohio.edu)

Townsville towers scrape the night sky.

NARRATOR: The city of Townsville! Which is kept safe from crime until...

...the Puppet Pals Show broadcasts on the UTONIUM'S television.

PUPPET PAL MITCH: (Whapping him with his whapper) Bonk-Bonk.
PUPPET PAL CLEM: Who's there?
PUPPET PAL MITCH: (Whapping again.) Bonk.
PUPPET PAL CLEM: Bonk who?
PUPPET PAL MITCH: (Yet again) Just bonk.

The UTONIUMS, gathered on the couch in front of the television, all laugh appreciatively at CLEM and MITCH'S clowning. After which, the PROFESSOR tells his daughters;

PROFESSOR: Seven o'clock. Time for bed, girls.

The POWERPUFFS obediently zip up the stairs to ready themselves for bed. The PROFESSOR comes up and watches them brush their teeth from the hallway. After they finish, the PROFESSOR holds BLOSSOM'S pink pajamas over his head.

PROFESSOR: Blossom!

BLOSSOM zips into the pajamas the PROFESSOR holds.

PROFESSOR: (Holding up green pajamas) Buttercup!

BUTTERCUP follows suite.

PROFESSOR: (Holding up blue pajamas) Bubbles! (When BUBBLES does not zip into her sleepwear) ...Bubbles?

Clad in her underwear and giggling mischievously, BUBBLES quickly tiptoes past the PROFFESOR

PROFESSOR: Come back here, young lady!

Still giggling, BUBBLES zips down a hallway, but breaks to a halt in midair when she sees that the PROFESSOR has intercepted her at the other end. The pajamas are placed on her person.

PROFESSOR: (pointing towards BUBBLES' bedroom) Bed.

Head hung in disappointed defeat, BUBBLES does as she's told, and in POWERPUFFS' bedroom, with the girls tucked in all snug and tight, the PROFESSOR bids them good-night, his finger already on the light switch.

PROFESSOR: Good night, girls.

He flicks the light off and shuts the door gently behind him. While BLOSSOM and BUTTERCUP have shut their eyes and settled into bed with contented smiles, BUBBLES is wide awake, clutching her stuffed octopus, Octi, and wearing a rather apprehensive expression. Before the PROFESSOR can reach his own bed, he is stopped by soft whimpering from BUBBLES. Immediately, the PROFESSOR doubles back to the bedroom door, and opens it just enough for some of the hallway light to shine in. BUBBLES' frown flips upside down, and she, too, settles into bed relaxed. But as the PROFESSOR proceeds uninterrupted to his own sleeping quarters, his expression, and indeed, entire body, droops steadily until he literally drags himself into bed. He casts a sad, longing look at the other end of his mattress. Though big enough to comfortably fit two, it accommodates only his own, lonely self. He sighs resignedly.

STORE CLERK: Cleanup on Aisle Eight!

It is a new day, and the PROFESSOR is heading down the aisle of a supermarket with a shopping cart full of groceries. BUBBLES zips in front of him, holding a box of WOW, a snack food of sorts.

BUBBLES: WOW! I want these!

BUTTERCUP shoves BUBBLES to the side, holding up a box of BETTER to the PROFESSOR.

BUTTERCUP: No way! These are BETTER!

Then BLOSSOM scoots in front of BUTTERCUP holding up her own box of THESE.

BLOSSOM: How about THESE?

All the POWERPUFFS hold their snacks up to the PROFESSOR'S face, eager for him to pass judgment.

POWERPUFFS: Professor!
PROFESSOR: Girls, you may each have what you want, but I can't see where I'm...

Suddenly, his shopping cart collides into someone else's...

PROFESSOR: Oh! I'm sorry, I couldn't see where I was going and I-I-I-!

The POWERPUFFS take an amazed look at this person who, with a look, has brought their charming and intelligent PROFESSOR stammering like a total dork. And what a sight to see! The lady in question is simply a gorgeous specimen of femininity, with a kindly smile, shapely figure, and bright, beautiful eyes a man could lose himself in. Certainly, PROFESSOR Utonium has lost his head.

PROFESSOR: I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-
NARRATOR: Uh-Oh. Direct hit, Cupid.

The POWERPUFFS take a long considering look between the PROFESSOR and the woman, who at this time is only studying the PROFESSOR with a calm, interested smile. Though his eyes have widened to their greatest expanse, he seems lost in his own world even as he's locked onto her. 

PROFESSOR: I-I-I-I-

With a look between them, the POWERPUFFS silently come to a decision on what to do. They smile, and come up to the lovely stranger.

POWERPUFFS: (Courteously) Hi! What's your name?
IMA: Miss Goodelady. Miss Ima Goodelady.
POWERPUFFS: We're the Powerpuff Girls!
IMA: (Laughing) I know exactly who you three wonderful girls are! But...who is that strapping gentleman behind you?
PROFESSOR: I-I-I-I-I-
BUTTERCUP: He's the Professor.
BUBBLES: He's single!
BUTTERCUP: (reproaching) Bubbles!
BLOSSOM: What they mean to say is, perhaps if you're not too busy, he could take you out?
IMA: (Looking delighted) Why that'd be splendid!
BLOSSOM: Saturday night, then?
BUTTERCUP: No, Sunday!
BUBBLES: I like Friday!
IMA: Friday is it.
BLOSSOM: Say...eight o'clock? 
BUTTERCUP: No, ten!
BUBBLES: I like seven!
IMA: Seven sounds great!
POWERPUFFS: Yeah! Friday at seven!

With their date agreed upon, IMA begins to push her cart on out, flashing a sweet smile at the PROFESSOR as she passes him.

IMA: Well, see you then! And, of course, you too, Professor.
PROFESSOR: (staring after her) I-I-I-I-I-
NARRATOR: (Sarcastically) Boy, that Professor is one *smooth* operator.

The big night

NARRATOR: The big night!
BUBBLES: (With a black bowtie in hand) I found your bow!

She sets it atop of the PROFESSOR'S head, so that it looks like a girlish hair-ribbon.

BUBBLES: Oh, it looks so lovely...
BUTTERCUP: (Placing it in the right spot on his tuxedo.) Bubbles! It's a bowtie, and it goes down here, see?
BUBBLES: (Offhand.) Oh. Well, I guess that looks good, too.
BUTTERCUP: (Squeezing it on his hair) And your hair gel.
BUBBLES: (Spraying it in his face) And cologne!
BUTTERCUP: (Placing them on his tongue) Breath mints!
BUBBLES: (Fixing them on his sleeves) And cuff links
BUTTERCUP: (Tucking them in an inner pocket) And some of these!
BLOSSOM: And don't forget the flower!

The view shows the snappy-looking finished product

NARRATOR: Looking sharp, Professor! ...And speaking of sharp, it's almost seven o'clock sharp!
PROFESSOR: I won't be late, girls. And Mayor, that's again for babysitting!

The MAYOR and the POWERPUFFS wave him off encouragingly.

POWERPUFFS: Goodbye, Professor! Have fun!

The hours pass. When the PROFESSOR steps back into his house at eleven o'clock, he sees the MAYOR asleep on his feet in the foyer. The PROFESSOR comes up behind him quietly.

PROFESSOR: Mayor, I'm back, and you can go home now.
MAYOR: (Coming to very suddenly) Augh! My life is a lie! Oh! Duh...goodnight!

When the MAYOR has left, the PROFESSOR pokes his head into the living room, where the POWERPUFFS are fast asleep on the couch in front of their television.

PROFESSOR: Wake up girls! I have a surprise for you!

The girls groggily come to, to see that IMA has followed the PROFESSOR into their home. IMA snuggles up to the PROFESSOR, slipping an arm on his shoulder. To give him credit, the PROFESSOR now seems much more in control of himself in IMA'S presence than when they had first met.

IMA: I'm so excited to be helping out around here with you girls!
POWERPUFFS: Helping out?!
BLOSSOM: With what?
PROFESSOR: Well, girls...
IMA: Why don't you let me explain to them?
PROFESSOR: Oh, okay. Sure. 
IMA: Alone.
PROFESSOR: I'm at your command, Ima.
IMA: (Giggles) Oh, you!

IMA turns to the girls after the PROFESSOR leaves.

IMA: You see, it's quite simple, girls. With the Professor being as busy as he is, it'll be good to have a female touch helping out around here!
BLOSSOM: But we don't need any extra help around here. We're...
POWERPUFFS: ...The Powerpuff Girls!

IMA laughs pleasantly, hunkering herself down to their small height as best she can. But when next she speaks...

IMA: And it is THAT kind of attitude that is going to change around here!

...Her cheerful gaze has twisted into a hard glare, her melodious, mellow voice has coarsened into the demanding rasp of a drill sergeant. The POWERPUFFS' jaws drop, completely taken aback by this abrupt change in IMA'S behavior.

NARRATOR: Uh-oh. Something is amiss! Or maybe even soon, amissus!

The next morning

NARRATOR: The next morning...
BLOSSOM: Come on girls! Townsville's in trouble!

But whatever trouble has befallen Townsville will have to wait. IMA, with her arms folded tightly, is standing in their way.

IMA: And just where do you think you're going?
BLOSSOM: We're going to fight crime!
BUTTERCUP: That's what we do!
BUBBLES: Duh!
IMA: Not today, you don't! You three left the living room a complete mess last night, and there will be no crime fighting until that room is SPOTLESS!
BUTTERCUP: No problem.

In a single, bright, rainbow streak of super speed, the POWERPUFF clean the living room to a bright, mirror shine.

BUTTERCUP: So?
IMA: Fine. Just fine. But I'm afraid you forgot THIS! And THIS! And this, and this, AND THIS!

In several swift, violent motions, IMA has completely undone the POWERPUFFS' work, and damaged a lot of their stuff as well. The snarl she then fixes them with is both hot and vicious.

IMA: From now on, you are FORBIDDEN to use your superpowers! You will do things like NORMAL little girls! 
NARRATOR: And so, the Powerpuff Girls clean the room like normal kids. Bore-ing.

Much later, the POWERPUFFS are sprawled exhausted on the carpet, their living room immaculate.

PROFESSOR: Oh, girls, it's time for...!

The girls zip onto the couch, raring for another bonk-acious episode of Puppet Pals...

IMA: Bed! 
PROFESSOR: What? Bed?
IMA: Well, honey, they are growing girls, and growing girls do need their rest...

She cozies herself against him.

IMA: (Huskily) Don't they?
PROFESSOR: Well, I-I-I-
POWERRPUFFS: But Professor!
PROFESSOR: Well, if Ima thinks it's time for bed, then I'll have to agree with her. 

The PROFESSOR and IMA, who is fixing the POWERPUFFS with a look most unbecoming of one concerned about the rest they need for their proper growth, watch as the girls dejectedly float upstairs. As they are all disconsolately settled inside their bed, IMA'S hand suddenly snakes out, and she snatches the doll Octi away from the tiny grasp of BUBBLES.

IMA: (her nastiest yet) And growing girls don't play with stupid dolls!

BUBBLES' eyes flood up with tears

IMA: Now...GOOD NIGHT.

She snaps off the lights and slams the door on them like a prison cell, plunging the room into utter darkness, at a speed worthy of the Powerpuffs themselves.

BUTTERCUP: This stinks!
BUBBLES: It's too dark!
BUTTERCUP: There's something fishy about that...

An urgent buzzing fills their ears, and the room is bathed in flashes of red light. All of the girls grin at the timely intervention of the Powerpuff Hotline.

BLOSSOM: Never mind that for now! The city needs us!

And they fly out of their beds, to pull their precious city from the grip of peril once more.

NARRATOR: That's more like it!

Much later in the night, the pastel rainbow that is the POWERPUFF GIRLS land directly at the foot of their suburban home door.

NARRATOR: And so, after a tiring evening of crime fighting, the girls quietly return home...

Softly they push open their door, begin to tiptoe inside...

IMA: And just where have you three been?

Seated in a chair facing their direction, IMA flicks on a light that illuminates her humorless features in a strange, red glow.

IMA: Well?
BLOSSOM: We were out fighting crime!
BUTTERCUP: That's what we do!
BUBBLES: Duh!

IMA is not at all amused by this response.

IMA: THAT'S IT!!! You...three...are...GROUNDED!!!!
PROFESSOR: (yawning and sleepy) What's going on down here?

When IMA whips around and sees the Professor standing there, her eyes bulge with a momentary flash of fear. But when she flies into his arms, she sounds grievous and heartbroken.

IMA: (Increasingly emotional, finally coming to tears) Oh, Professor! I was so worried! I...I went to check on the girls! And they weren't in bed! So I waited and waited! Oh! I was so worried! They purposely disrespected me and left to fight crime! I just want to be good to them, so I punished them! I just...I just...

She faints in the PROFESSOR'S arms. He stares down at them in stern, unhappy displeasure.

PROFESSOR: Girls! She's only looking out for your best interest!
POWERPUFFS: But...but...
PROFESSOR: No 'buts!' You're g...g...grounded!

To say this has taken a lot out of the PROFESSOR. IMA, though, emerges from her blackout long enough to flash one smile of victorious satisfaction at the PROFESSOR'S daughters, before falling back into her faint. All the UTONIUMS wear the look of deepest misery as the POWERPUFFS float to their beds.

NARRATOR: The Powerpuff Girls grounded? How can this be?! What kind of crimes will go unpunished?! What evil will befall Townsville...?! 

The silhouette of IMA exits the UTOMIUMS' front door, and quickly sneaks away from the house.

NARRATOR: ...And just where the heck is *she* off to?

The Hotline rings again in the POWERPUFF'S room. BLOSSOM answers it unenthusiastically.

BLOSSOM: Hello?
MAYOR: Blossom, It's the Mayor.
BLOSSOM: Oh. Hello, Mayor.
MAYOR: Blossom, I need your help right away!
BLOSSOM: Sorry Mayor, but we're grounded!

From the MAYOR'S end of the line, we can see the dark silhouette of a dangerous-looking female behind the MAYOR. She seems too preoccupied with her sinister business to notice the MAYOR'S presence.

MAYOR: Well you picked a fine night to be grounded! Sedusa is robbing my safe of its jewels as we speak! (to SEDUSA) Hey! Put those back!
BLOSSOM: (Suddenly brightening) Sedusa?! Yes, that is quite a coincidence we got grounded. Don't worry, Mayor! We'll catch Sedusa...as soon as she gets home!

Later that night in the UTONIUM house, IMA, a strange bag coiled protectively in her arms, softly pushes the door open, begins to tiptoe inside...

BLOSSOM: And just where have you been?

Seated in a chair facing her direction, BUBBLES flicks on a light that illuminates all three of the POWERPUFFS' features in a strange, red glow.

BLOSSOM: Well?
BUTTERCUP: Miss Goodelady!
IMA: I thought I grounded you brats! I'm getting the Professor!
BLOSSOM: 'Fraid not, Ima. He's conveniently stepped out!
BUTTERCUP: And we know you're not such a Goode Lady after all!

Flying up to IMA, BUBBLES reaches her hand out, and rips off her person what turns out to be a full-body disguise.

BUBBLES: What's in the bag...SEDUSA?
NARRATOR: SEDUSA?! Who would have guessed it?

The most conspicuous feature of the devious bandit known as SEDUSA, besides her bloodless, winter skin, is her hair. Long, thick, and black, it spikes out indiscriminately in all direction on her skull, writhing around under its own weird power like the tentacles of an octopus. BUBBLES attempts to seize SEDUSA'S bag, but she holds on tight.

SEDUSA: LET...GO!!!!

The tug-of-war ends with the bag ripping apart, and its contents plummeting to the floor.

BUBBLES: Well! Whaddya know! The Mayor's jewels! Nice try, Sedusa, but the game's over!
SEDUSA: Ha! Never. I'll just sweet-talk that sap of a Professor. He'll believe me. And you three bug-eyed creeps will be grounded FOREVER! AH-HA-HA-HA-HA!!! 
BUBBLES: Ground THIS!

BUBBLES socks SEDUSA one good on the side of her face. She zooms around to try and score a double-hit on the other cheek, but a long tendril of SEDUSA'S hair snakes out, coils itself around BUBBLES' body, and throws her against the wall. BLOSSOM and BUTTERCUP then move in. SEDUSA is able to fend BLOSSOM off with a hard, whip-like crack from her hair, but BUTTERCUP catches her full in the stomach. First BLOSSOM then BUTTERCUP again, administer a painful, fingerless fist to SEDUSA'S jaw. Then BUBBLES brings herself down hard on SEDUSA'S foot, and shoots up and administers yet more pain still to SEDUSA'S punished jaw, as BUTTERCUP slams into her backside feet-first, bringing the crook to her knees.

PROFESSOR: (Carrying grocery-filled bags inside the front door.) Oh, girls, I'm back from the store...?!

The groceries fall from the PROFESSOR'S grip, and the combatants freeze in mid-fight.

PROFESSOR: WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!
SEDUSA: Oh! Professor-honey! Thank goodness you're back! The girls just went crazy and jumped me when I came home! 
BLOSSOM: No, Professor! It's not true!
BUTTERCUP: She's really Sedusa!
BUBBLES: And she grounded us so she could make off with the Mayor's jewels! 
SEDUSA: (Snarling at POWERPUFFS) LIARS!! 
SEDUSA: (Plaintive and begging) Professor, sweetie, you believe me, don't you? Please...help me!

ALL eyes are on the PROFESSOR, who battles it inwardly in tortured indecision.

SEDUSA: (Desperate whisper) Please!

At last the PROFESSOR comes to his decision. He takes SEDUSA'S hand. The POWERPUFFS gasp, cover their mouths in horror, then hang their heads in defeat.

PROFESSOR: Girls, call the police!

The POWERPUFFS brighten up. The PROFESSOR has a furious SEDUSA trapped, with her arm twisted around her back.

PROFESSOR: This crook isn't going to deceive us anymore!
POWERPUFFS: YEAH!

Some time later, presumably the next day, the UTONIUMS are happily watching television again.

NARRATOR: Well, it looks like things are back to normal at the Powerpuff household!

The doorbell rings, and the PROFESSOR stands up and answers it.

PROFESSOR: Hello, can I-I-I-I-I...!

A beautiful woman stands at his door, with long lashes and bright blond hair. She seems to be more of the homemaker type than IMA was.

NEIGHBOR: Hello. I live down the street, and I heard all about your apprehension of that vicious criminal, and so, (pulling it out) ...I baked you a pie!
PROFESSOR: (Brain out to lunch) I-I-I-I-I-I!!!
NARRATOR: Uh-Oh! Here we go again! Better nip this one in the bud, girls!

THE FLASHING HEART LOGO FLASHES

NARRATOR: And so, once again, THE DAY IS SAVED, thanks to THE POWERPUFF GIRLS!!!

T H E  E N D