Buttercrush

transcribed by Louis Badalament II (lb140900@ohio.edu)

It is early daytime today in Townsville.

NARRATOR: The City of Townsville. A pleasant place to live. Unless you run into...

Down on the streets of Townsville, a quintet of dangerous-looking punks saunter down the sidewalk.

NARRATOR: ...The Gangrene Gang! The biggest bunch of belligerent bullies this town's ever seen!

All members of the GANGRENE GANG are males in their late teenage year, with a sickly-green skin color. Despite this apparent affliction, their body language projects an image of fine health and high spirits.

The one in the middle with the scraggly facial hair is ACE. Possibly the oldest of the group, ACE takes the most pride in his appearance. His body is clad in a stylish streetwalker's getup, his eyes are hidden behind a groovy pair of shades, and his long black hair look carefully combed and slicked down with oil. Swaggering down the block with his hands in his pockets, he makes all his comrades look shoddy and trashy by comparison.

Then there is BIG BILLY. Though he transcends his fellows in both size and bulk, he drags behind them in mental capacity; even at first glance this is painfully obvious. With his hair falling over his eyes, belly button visible from a shirt at least two sizes two small, and a single tooth poking out of an oblivious smile, BIG BILLY looks nothing more than a redhead gorilla being taken for a walk. 

Near the back is SNAKE. To sum it up briefly, SNAKE is the embodiment of how humans might've been like if they'd descended from serpents instead of primates. His nose coils outward, ending in an astonishingly long point, his eyes are slitted, teeth are bared in a crafty grin. He drags his feet on the pavement as he walks, and with his hands in his pockets, he looks like he might be the second-in-command.

GRUBBER, even without taking into account the misfortune of his being a hunchback, presents a bizarre, quasi-human appearance. He walks barefoot, with gigantic eyeballs bulging straight out of their sockets, and a wide tongue lolling from his mouth like a dog's. The clothing he wears look to be those of a destitute from the Renaissance era, to the extent of his having his pants tied with a length of rope!

Completing this sundry bunch is LIL' ARTURO, who walks out in front. LIL' ARTURO is a midget, about the same size as one of the POWERPUFF GIRLS. Like ACE, his hair looks meticulously styled, probably to make up for his unsightly underbite.

The GANGRENES continue on, enetering into a playground until ACE spots a ball in front of him and stops before it, while the rest of the gang proceed obliviously on without him.

ACE: Eh-hem! 

Without missing a beat, the LESSER GANGRENES moonwalk their way back around their fearless leader.

ACE: Well, well! What do we have here?

He picks it up from the grass. It is one of those red rubber balls that double as both a basketball and a dodgeball. Then a trio of small children approach him. The one who stands directly in front of ACE looks up to him and asks,

TYKE: Excuse me, mister, but can we have our ball back?

ACE affects a look of confusion.

ACE: "Mister?" You're talking to ACE, kid. There are no 'Misters' here! ...At least, I don't think so...um, Lil' Arturo, is your name 'Mister'?
LIL' ARTURO: (chuckling) Eh, heh-heh-heh! ...No.
ACE: How 'bout you, Big Billy?
BIG BILLY: Daaaah...No.
ACE: Grubber?
GRUBBER: (Raspberry) Pppphhhbbbtttt!
ACE: Yeah, I thought so. Hey, is your name 'Mister,' Snake?
SNAKE: (Hissing titter) Hss-ssss-sss-sss! Yesss! 

ACE jabs an uppercut on SNAKE'S hooked nose.

SNAKE: I meanss no.
ACE: Sorry! You three are waaay off track.

The children stare back at him in awkward silence.

TYKE: Well...can we have our ball back, anyway?
ACE: Oh, sure! Why not?

ACE holds out the ball to the TYKE, who reaches for it smiling. Then he bounces it off his head, knocking him to the ground, after which he does the same thing to the TYKE'S two friends. All three of them are now cowering on the ground with their eyes shut.

ACE: Hey, boys...
LESSER GANGRENES: What is it, Ace?
ACE: I don't think these kids are having fun!
LIL' ARTURO: (Laughing) Eh, heh-heh-heh! You want us to show them how to have fun?!
ACE: Yes, Lil' Arturo, let's show them how to have fun...GANGRENE STYLE!

So the GANGRENES spread themselves out among the playground to harass more young victims. SNAKE whirls two boys spinning on a Buck-a-Bout so fast they fly right off. GRUBBER chomps down on a tire a kid's swinging on and shakes it back and forth in his mouth like a dog. BIG BILLY drops himself from a great height on a bunch of kids playing on a Jungle Gym, crushing all underneath him.

BIG BILLY: Jungle Gym!
LIL' ARTURO: Hey! Look at this!

LIL' ARTURO says to a little CHILD he has seated himself next to in a sandbox. When the CHILD looks, LIL' ARTURO swats some sand into his eyes.

CHILD: Aaaah! 

A little girl swinging back on a swingset, finds herself caught by ACE. He raises her above his head, and thrusts her forward with all his might, the girl whirls around the pole the swings hang from until she is tied to it by the swing's tightly-wound rope.

YOUNGSTER: Neee-yummmm! Prbrbrbttt-rummm! 

Goes a pudgy little YOUNGSTER playing around with a toy airplane. Moments later, when SNAKE grabs the YOUNGSTER from behind by the underwear and lifts up, his eyes bulge out and cheeks puff out red. The YOUNGSTER screams as SNAKE lifts him up off the ground.

YOUNSTER: D'YAAAAHH!

All the GANGRENE GANG gathered around SNAKE laugh appreciatively at the agony the YOUNGSTER is suffering under SNAKE'S monster wedgie. At least, they do until BLOSSOM demands,

BLOSSOM: Let the underwear go.

The YOUNGSTER looks over and recognizes, in weak relief,

YOUNGSTER: The...Powerpuff...Girls!

It is indeed. BLOSSOM, flanked on either side by her sisters, stares the GANGRENE GANG down. The GANGRENES, for their part, are less than thrilled to see them.

LIL' ARTURO: The Powerpuff Girls?!
BIG BILLY: The Powerpuff Girls??
SNAKE: The P-P-P-Powerpuff Girlss?!?!
GRUBBER: Phhhhbbhttt?!?!
ACE: The Powerpuff Girls?!

In lieu of the POWERPUFFS' arrival, ACE feigns an attitude of scandalized horror.

ACE: SNAKE!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THAT POOR CHILD?!
SNAKE: (Taken aback) But...but youssse sssaid...!

Before SNAKE can remind ACE of what he says, ACE uppercuts him again, making BUTTERCUP laugh.

BUTTERCUP: Ha-ha-ha! He-he-he-he!
BLOSSOM: (admonishing) Buttercup!

BUTTERCUP quickly returns her regular scowl to her face, as BLOSSOM'S disapproving frown deepens. ACE, for his part, looks on in surprise at this unexpected turn of events. Then an inspired, crafty smile rises on his face, as he decides an experiment is in order. Ever the versatile actor, ACE steps up before the POWERPUFFS get on his knees and pleads,

ACE: Oh, Powerpuff Girls! Please forgive my foolish friend for his foolish act, for he did not know what he was doing, and I know deep inside my heart that he would *never* do anything like that ever again!

BLOSSOM and BUBBLES aren't buying any of it. BUTTERCUP, though, is eating up every word, a stream of sympathetic tears pours forth from her big, green eyes as ACE continues his appeal.

ACE: Whatdaya say, girls? Willya forgive 'im? Willya?

ACE takes BUTTERCUP by the hand and fixes her with the most woeful gaze his eyes are capable of without actually breaking out into tears himself.

ACE: Please???

Completely won over, BUTTERCUP passes an inquiring look to BLOSSOM, who shuts her eyes and reluctantly consents.

BLOSSOM: Okay.

BUTTERCUP smiles at ACE.

ACE: Thank you.

Playing his charm for all it's worth, ACE lowers his shades, letting BUTTERCUP get a good look in his eyes and winks at her enticingly. BUTTERCUP gapes at him it wide-eyed astonishment, then her eyelids droop to a more wistful, lovestruck look. She gazes after him and his GANG as they make their way out of the park.

NARRATOR: Oh, no! Looks like Buttercup's is looking for love in all the wrong places! 
NARRATOR: Next day, Townsville Museum of Natural History...

Ms. Keane and her students are being led around the museum's dinosaur display by a tour guide.

NARRATOR: ...Oh, look! The Pokey Oaks kindergarten class is on a field trip! And so is...

In a different part of the museum, facing towards a soda vending machine is none other than...

NARRATOR: The Gangrene Gang?! This can't be good!

BIG BILLY trundles up to the vending machine, winds his sizable arms back and smashes it several times with his fists. Unfortunately,

BIG BILLY: Big Billy no get soda! 

SNAKE, observing the money slot on the vending machine, points out,

SNAKE: I think sshe needss moneyss.
LIL' ARTURO: This Mesopotamian vase is probably worth a couple of bucks!
ACE: Slip it in right here, Arturo.

Obligingly, LIL' ARTURO takes the ancient ceramic and ties to jam it inside the vending machine's money slot. Surprisingly, it does not accept the vase as legal tender, and LIL' ARTURO only succeeds in smashing the earthenware to itty bits; the noise is loud enough to be caught by the POWERPUFF' ears. LIL' ARTURO doesn't stop there however. With a strength surprising for one his height, he next procures the corpse of Egyptian mummy, and holds it against to the machine slot,

ACE: Now this has got to be worth at least one soda!
BLOSSOM: Drop that mummy! 
GANGRENE GANG: THE POWERPUFF GIRLS!!!

But the moment BUTTERCUP recognizes ACE, her warrior's glower is replaced by the longing smile of the lovelorn, and she waves hospitably at the object of her infatuation.

BLOSSOM: Alright, Girls! Let's show these creeps how to respect other peoples' property!

They start their lesson by flying right in on the GANG. BIG BILLY'S head is lashed back with a punch from BLOSSOM. BUBBLES whips LIL' ARTURO with a kick to the head, and BLOSSOM does likewise for SNAKE. BUBBLES smacks GRUBBER so hard, he is lifted off his feet; then BLOSSOM and BUBBLES grab SNAKE and LIL' ARTURO respectively and smashes the two against each other's back. Somehow throughout the melee, ACE is able to avoid being noticed by BLOSSOM or BUBBLES at all. He steps up to BUTTERCUP, who has, for the first time thus far, opted not to part in a fight, but stand on the sidelines instead with an unhappy expression on her face.

ACE: Hey.

BUTTERCUP brightens until ACE kneels down before her and asks,

ACE: Buttercup, how come you guys always pick on us, huh?

They watch as BUBBLES and BLOSSOM swat LIL' ARTURO back and forth between they like racqueteers playing with a birdie.

ACE: We was only trying to get a soda!

Affronted by the sheer injustice of ACE'S plight, BUTTERCUP flies over to a voluminous tapestry hanging on the museum wall, and drops it over the combatants having it out on the floor below. ACE smirks, rises to his feet, sticks his finger in his mouth and whistles. Almost instantly, the LESSER GANGRENES poke their heads out from under the tapestry, and slide out to rejoin their gang leader. BLOSSOM and BUBBLES continue to duke it out underneath the obscuring wall-hanging, unaware that the GANG'S exit.

ACE: C'mon, guys, let's amscray! 

The LESSER GANGRENES make their way out hastily, ACE starts to follow after them but BUTTERCUP flies up from behind and taps him on the shoulder. He turns around.

ACE: Hey.

BUTTERCUP demurely presents him with a cola, which ACE accepts from her graciously.

ACE: You know, kid, you're not so bad! You can hang out with us, anytime!
NARRATOR: That evening...

...At the UTONIUM household, late at night, the POWERPUFFS slumber in their bed. Suddenly, BUTTERCUP'S eye snaps open, and she sees that her sisters are deeply asleep.

NARRATOR: Oh, no!

BUTTERCUP slips out of bed and quietly tiptoes to the window...

NARRATOR: She isn't!

...lifts the window up...

NARRATOR: She is. 

...slides through it, and shuts it firmly behind her. Then she soars out into the nighttime sky...

NARRATOR: I hope she knows what she's doing!

...past the tall Townsville skyscrapers, and into the unpleasant territory of the Townsville Dump. The part of the Dump BUTTERCUP lands at has no noteworthy features, just piles of junk in the background. But when she moves a little distance forward from that spot, she finds herself standing at the hideout of the GANGRENE GANG. Simply put, the hideout, built from wooden boards as it is, much resembles a treehouse removed from its tree. It looks surprisingly solid and well-constructed, considering the irresponsible leanings of its builders.

BUTTERCUP knocks on the door, and it is opened by ACE.

ACE: (Warmly) Hey.

BUTTERCUP only stares up at him with a tender, happy smile. The LESSER GANGRENES pack behind ACE and stare at the POWERPUFF with nervous apprehension.

SNAKE: W-w-what'ss sshe'ss doing here, bossss?!
ACE: (Snarling) BACK OFF!! RELAX!!

Immediately all four LESSER GANGRENES assume a restful position on the hideout floor, GRUBBER even brings out a violin to strum.

ACE: Buttercup! Please, come in.

BUTTERCUP hovers inside the hideout's interior as the door shuts behind her of its own accord. Sometime shortly later, BUTTERCUP and the GANGRENE GANG are seated at a table; BUTTERCUP sits directly between SNAKE and ACE. All is quiet until...

SNAKE: (To ACE) Aaagh! I can't TAKE it anymore, sshe'ss a POWERPUFF GIRL! Sshe'ss 
GOOD, we're BAD! The musseumss! Punchingss! Headachess! HURTINGSS...!!

In proficient emulation of her boyfriend, BUTTERCUP responds to SNAKE'S idiocy by landing an uppercut on his nose.

ACE: Sweet move, Buttercup.
LIL' ARTURO: (Laughs) Yeah, smooth move! You should hang out with us! 
SNAKE: (mechanically) Yess, pleasse, hang out.

So the six of them hand out together. First up on BUTTERCUP'S romantic evening with ACE and his friends, is a fine pounding in of one the Dump's wrecked cars. BIG BILLY is pummeling away at the hood, LIL' ARTURO bounces up and down on the roof, SNAKE is spinning the steering wheel in the driver's seat.

Near the back, ACE strikes the car's passenger window several times with a baseball bat, and then offers the bat to BUTTERCUP. As BUTTERCUP zips into position, SNAKE, still in the driver's seat, and all too aware of the power POWERPUFFS are capable of, signals 'no' desperately with his hands. His gestures are not seen by BUTTERCUP, who swings back, and scores a home run on it; sending the car and the luckless GANGRENE inside flying out of sight.

BUTTERCUP and her new friends next enjoy a good laugh at the expense of a hapless cat, who can barely lift his legs up after the lot of them have slipped weight bags over his paws. The fun continues with ACE and BUTTERCUP punching SNAKE back and forth between them, ACE and BUTTERCUP trampolining off BIG BILLY'S great rubbery chest...the passage of time is barely noticed amidst gales of the GANGRENES' happy laughter, all to quickly nighttime fades into morning, and BUTTERCUP has to go.

ACE: Oh, Buttercup! Last night was a HOOT! 

He kneels down and affectionately takes her hands in his.

ACE: So will you please be my guest again, tonight?

BUTTERCUP nods her head eagerly; yes, she most certainly would! Then she flies away, and the LESSER GANGRENES wave her off, all speaking at once in a rush.

BIG BILLY: Buh-Bye, Buttercup! Buh-Bye! Have a good day, now! D'uh, we'll see you later! 
SNAKE: Parting iss ssuch ssweet sorrow! Ssee you laterss! Sssoo long! Buh-Bye!
LIL' ARTURO: See you later! Bye! See you later! Bye! 
GRUBBER: Phbt Phbt! Phbt Phbt! Phbt! 

ACE however, holds his tongue until he can stand it no longer.

ACE: SHUT UP!!!
BIG BILLY: Gee, Boss, we's was just saying goodbye to our new best friend.
ACE: She is NOT your new best friend!!
SNAKE: Hey, then why'd we hang out with her, bossss?

ACE slaps his head in exasperation.

ACE: Don't you realize that with Buttercup on our side...WE COULD CONTROL TOWNSVILE?!?!
LIL' ARTURO: Yes...what about her sisters?
ACE: Sit for a spell, fellas, 'cause I've got a plan. 

He laughs nastily.

NARRATOR: Well that sounds awful! Evil people with evil plans!? I hope the Powerpuff Girls can get out of this one! Especially Buttercup! 

Later that night, BUTTERCUP again lands at the foot of the GANGRENES' hideout. Inside, the GANG is gathered around the door.

ACE: She'll be here any minute, you all remember what to do?

All of them flash him a conspiratory wink. Moments later, the sounds of knocking can be heard.

ACE: Show time! 

He opens the door.

ACE: Hey. Please, come in!

BUTTERCUP flies inside, smiling kindly at ACE'S friends. Impatiently, ACE gives a very *pointed* clearing of his throat.

ACE: Eh-hem! 
SNAKE: Eh? Oh! Right! Ssee you twoss a little bit laterss!!

BUTTERCUP stares in surprise as the LESSER GANGRENES leave the hideout together, leaving her alone with her crush. Seeing this surprise, ACE kneels down and assures BUTTERCUP...

ACE: They'll be back. With PIZZA! 

Meanwhile, BUTTERCUP'S sisters are both sleeping peacefully in their beds, but not for very much longer. In another part of the city, one with no pizza parlors around, GRUBBER stands inside a telephone booth, the phone already to his ear.

GRUBBER: Phbbbt-Phbbtt-Pbbbht!
SNAKE: (From outside the booth) C'mon! Sstop laughing! Do it RIGHT! 

Back at the UTONIUM house, the phone rings out. BLOSSOM pulls the covers over herself and says,

BLOSSOM: (tiredly) Bubbles...uh...get the phone. 

BUBBLES groggily answers the call.

BUBBLES: ...Hello?

GRUBBER clears his throat, widens his eyes out, and suddenly begins to speak.

GRUBBER: (As BUTTERCUP) Ooh, hello! I'm Buttercup and my foot got caught in a conveyor belt at the City Dump! I'm afraid I'm stuck. Help me! 

He hangs up.

BUBBLES: (Pleasantly) Okay. Buh-Bye.

Then she screams out, in a voice loud enough to shock BLOSSOM from sleep completely.

BUBBLES: BUTTERCUP'S IN TROUBLE!!!

And they're off. When they arrive at the Dump's conveyor belt, they look around until...

GRUBBER: Help me! Help me! My foot is stuck!

...They spot the back profile of a figure in a green dress with black hair in a flip-styled cut. The POWERPUFFS fly out to the figure, landing on the conveyor belt...

BLOSSOM: Don't worry, Buttercup!
BUBBLES: We've got you! 

...Who whips around so they can see his actual face.

GRUBBER: Pphhhbbbttt! 
NARRATOR: AUGGH! THAT'S not Buttercup!

From the control booth of the Dump's car magnet, SNAKE drops two wrecked automobiles onto the POWERPUFFS, embedding they deep inside. They do not seem to be able to extricate themselves from the cars, and as the conveyer belt activates, they scream out in terror.

BLOSSOM & BUBBLES: WAAAAAH!!!

They pass through the Dump's fiery car-crusher; amazingly enough, they survive the crusher's processing, though they are trapped tighter than ever in thick metal cubes.

SNAKE: Ssay GOODBYE, Powerpuffsss!

He lowers the magnet over the POWERPUFFS and activates it; the car cubes fasten onto the magnet with the GIRLS still trapped inside them. The GIRLS scream louder than ever, as he swirls the magnet around to be position over the bubbling surface of some hot, lava-like liquid.

NARRATOR: This is unbelievable! Is this the end of our beloved girls?! Can no one save our heroes from this impending doom?! Can Buttercup not hear her sister's cries for help?!

From inside the house, though, BUTTERCUP and ACE are jamming to the groove of a fast, electric guitar that plays from speakers surrounding them from every wall of the hideout.

NARRATOR: Oh no! Blossom and Bubbles' screams are being drown out by this rouge Romeo's rambunctious rock! 

BUTTERCUP stops a spell to watch her ACE jab his arms and legs out in time with the music's beat. Enamored, BUTTERCUP mimics ACE'S actions, punching and kicking. Because her eyes are shut the whole time, she inadvertently knocks one of the hideout's walls down with a jab; exposed her trapped, screaming sisters poised over a vat of molten liquid. 

BLOSSOM & BUBBLES: WAAAAAH!!!

BUTTERCUP stares at the scene before her, eyes wide, and mouth a tiny O. Then her face scrunches up into an outraged glower. She shoots ACE an accusing frown; he chuckles with uneasy attempt at humor.

ACE: Heh-heh-eh...aren't we having fun??

First things first; BUTTERCUP flies out towards her sisters;

SNAKE: Adiosss, tusss amigosss!

SNAKE deactivates the magnet, BLOSSOM and BUBBLES plummet to their doom...

BLOSSOM & BUBBLES: WAAAAAH!!! 

...But SNAKE was too slow. BUTTERCUP catches her sisters before they hit the liquid and lands them on the ground. The moment BUBBLES and BLOSSOM are out of harm's touch, BUTTERCUP contorts her face up with venomous rancor, and directs her sights on ACE, who is standing behind his GANG, scared and nervous.

ACE: Now, listen, Buttercup, I...it's NOT what you think!! 

But BUTTERCUP is far beyond the reach of ACE'S hollow excuses. She flies out, and flattens all his gang out in a single, heroic blow, wiping out the only thing left between her and ACE. She is the scorned manifestation of hell's fury now, and she's baking ACE with a grim, wordless snarl. Desperate to escape BUTTERCUP'S rage, ACE tries again with his excuses...

ACE: Buttercup, I'm innocent!!! ...The BOYS!! THEY put me up to it, HONEST!!!

BUTTERCUP flies out, and delivers just retribution for love stamped upon. A smack to the face. A wallop that sends him sailing bent over backwards. A flying kick that breaks his nose open. Sucker-punch, jaw-kick, head-butt; ACE is starting to look woozy. BUTTERCUP holds nothing back as she pummels the boyfriend who played her false for all she's worth. Then, with one last smack, ACE falls floored, a tooth shooting from his jaw, shades flying from his bruised eyes, in front of her sisters.

BLOSSOM: Buttercup...what's been going on?
BUTTERCUP: I'm sorry.

She hugs her sisters around the length of their cubed encasement.

NARRATOR: Aw, we forgive you, Buttercup. 

The Flashing Heart Logo Flashes Its Hearts.

NARRATOR: And so, Once Again, the Day is Saved thanks to The Powerpuff Girls!

T H E  E N D