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Remember that whole "Y2K computer bug" that everyone was worried about? When the year 2000 finally did come, almost all of the computers around the world kept working without a hitch. No nuclear missiles were launched. The financial markets didn't crumble. Even the few overlooked glitches that were embedded deep in the bowels of some Cobol generated database software from the 1960s didn't cause the doomsday scenario that television and movies tried so hard to promote. Oh sure, there were a few annoyances that were reported, but nothing major. The most common one was with home PCs. You see, some older computers couldn't roll over to 2000 on their own. Instead, they rolled over to the earliest date possible on a home computer: January 1, 1980. Most people noticed this and simply changed their computer's date setting manually. Viola! Problem solved for another century. That is, most people. Sadly, there will always be some individuals who's awareness of the world around them is so severely limited, that they do not even notice that the freakin' date on their computer is over 20 years off. Here is one such person. And would you believe it? He's a net kook, too! What are the odds? Let's take a look at the nutty messages he sent me:
"dont lol"? He didn't give me the chance to "lol" even if I wanted to (and boy did I ever!) because three minutes later, I received:
Yeah, he needs help all right. However, I can't help him since I don't have any spare straight jackets and assisted suicides are illegal in most states. Anyway, I reply back explaining to him that he needs to send the picture to me as an attachment. Here was his reply:
Ah, I see. I was underestimating his ignorance. I reply to him explaining that he needs a scanner. Instead of thanking me, this is the reply I get:
A toaster?! Where on God's green Earth did he get that from? You mean to tell me that even a toaster knows about scanners? Is he actually implying in his own message that he's dumber than a toaster? Before I had the chance to respond, I received yet another message:
I've never been called a "toaster" before. Quite frankly, I have no idea how to feel about it. I like toast and all, but I wouldn't say that it makes me a toaster. Maybe it isn't meant as an insult? Although, I'm pretty sure being called a "BUTT WITH POOP IN IT" can't be a good thing. Or is it? I mean, where else would poop normally be found? If he called me "poop on the sidewalk," then yeah, that's definitely an insult. Poop has no business being there. Hmmm... Well, thank you scones@worldnut.net for all the kind greetings. I'd like to return the complement by saying that you are a stomach full of vomit. Oh, and if you ever buy a scanner, be sure to send me some of your pictures. I'm sure they'll be great! |
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